So, a little while ago I was thinking about what quote I would like for my next tattoo. Then I thought about how I will cease being a teenager in about 5 months: "Whoa. I am going to be twenty. two-zero. 20. If I am lucky enough to live until I am eighty, then that means that I will reach the one-quarter mark of my life in 5 months. If I am SUPER lucky, then it means that I will reach the one-fifth mark. And if I am EXTRA-SUPER lucky, it will be the one-sixth mark." But no matter what, a fraction of my life will have gone by. So then I asked the well known question of: 'If I randomly die today, will I be okay with it? Will I be content with the point which I am at in the world?' The answer that popped up in my head was huge, flashy, red, and consisted of the letters that are side-by-side in the alphabet.
There are two general things that I want to work on so that the answer will change:
1.) I want to help people/the world in a meaningful way that will impact others positively. Being a teacher will accomplish this, and so will working at a homeless shelter or the like. I need to get on that.
2.) I need to worry about EVERYTHING a lot less. I worry about being on time, hurting someone else/impacting them negatively (which is an important thing to worry about, but not as much as I do it), and, most importantly, what people think of ME. That is my biggest flaw. If I died right now, I know that I would be extremely disappointed with myself about caring that that one faceless no-name person cared about how I looked or walked or whatever. I think that this was part of my problem in my first year of college - I wanted so desperately for people to think that I was interesting and cool and I really wanted to fit in that I changed a bit as a person. I need to not second-guess my thoughts, actions, style, personal taste, and own them instead, because there are judgmental people in the world; that's just how it is. Letting the opinions of others be the ruling factor will ruin a person. I want to be able to say that I lived life how I wanted to when the time comes.
After thinking about all this, I decided that I want my next tattoo to be a quote that says something like 'Live boldly, love passionately, and laugh loudly, because today may be your last' or 'I want to be able to say that I lived life my way'. Then, when I look at it, it will remind me to live fully.
